Rogue’s Gallery: The Art of the Siren, #25

Song: Loudon Wainwright III
(yes, that’s right — that one who appeared in several episodes of M*A*S*H):
Good Ship Venus (3:15 minutes)
from Rogue’s Gallery: Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs, and Chanteys, ANTI- 2006.
Buy CD in Germany and elsewhere.
Image: Ms. Camille on Driftwood: MPL Studios.

Lyrics:

On the good ship Venus
by Christ you should have seen us
the figurehead
was a whore in bed
sucking a dead man’s penis.

The captain’s name was Lugger
by Christ he was a bugger
he wasn’t fit
to shovel shit
from one ship to another.

And the second mate was Andy
by Christ he had a dandy
till they crushed his cock
on a jagged rock
for cumming in the brandy.

The third mate’s name was Morgan
by God he was a gorgon
from half past eight
he played till late
upon the captain’s organ.

The captain’s wife was Mabel
and by God was she able
to give the crew
their daily screw
upon the galley table.

The captain’s daughter Charlotte
was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night
were lily white
by morning they were scarlet.

The cabin boy was Kipper
by Christ he was a nipper
he stuffed his ass
with broken glass
and circumcised the skipper.

The captain’s lovely daughter
liked swimming in the water.
Delighted squeals
came when some eels
found her sexual quarters.

The cook his name was Freeman
and he was a dirty demon
and he fed the crew
on menstrual stew
and hymens fried in semen.

And the ship’s dog was called Rover
and we turned the poor thing over
and ground and ground
that faithful hound
from Teneriff to Dover.

When we reached our station
through skilful navigation
the ship got sunk
in a wave of spunk
from too much fornication.

On the good ship Venus
by Christ you should have seen us
the figurehead
was a whore in bed
sucking a dead man’s penis.

Explanatory liner notes by ANTI-:

Among the filthiest series of limericks ever collected and written down, this gem was first put to paper by Christopher Logue in Count Palmiro Vicarion‘s Book of Bawdy Ballads [available in Amazon.com and in Germany], courageously published by the notorious Olympia Press (Maurice Girodias) in 1956. Maurice was a much persecuted man. He also published Lolita and Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Old time sailors would surely have been proud.

Wikipedia (stub, to date of January 18, 2009):

Good Ship Venus, also known as Friggin’ in the Riggin, is a bawdy drinking song devised to shock with ever increasingly lewd and debauched sexual descriptions of the eponymous ship’s loose moralled crew. The tune usually used (especially for the chorus) is “In and Out the Windows”. The lyrics, as with all folksongs, show variations — sometimes vast changes from performance to performance and from singer to singer. […]

The usual rhyming structure for this song is the limerick AABBA structure. The sexual lexis used throughout the poem is limited in its depravity only by the respective singer’s gratuitous imagination.

British punk band The Sex Pistols recorded a version which appears on their Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle album. The American Thrash metal band Anthrax covered the Sex Pistols’ version. […]

Whenever a ship was required in The Goon Show, it was often named the “Good Ship Venus” or “HMS Venus”, one of several references to dirty jokes the Goons managed to get past the 1950s BBC censors. […]

Shout-out: Exactly these recent days, Mr. Hulton Clint published another shanty for adult listeners — and singers: Seraphina from Salty Dog’s Uncensored Sailor Songs. Listen if you can.